


Inevitable

by robinsgotham



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, DickDamiWeek 2017, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Secret Relationship, kinda nonlinear bc that's Just How I Roll, much lighter than it could've been tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinsgotham/pseuds/robinsgotham
Summary: When he kisses Damian for the first time, it feels like coming home.





	Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> For DickDamiWeek 2017, Day 2: Secret Relationship :)

When Dick got home from patrol, Damian was already in his bed. He could hear the soft breathing, see the shape of Damian’s body beneath his duvet. In the safety of the dark, he allowed himself to smile down at the younger boy.

When he got into bed after a shower, Damian awoke a little, like he always did. He blinked sleepily in Dick’s direction as Dick got settled in, and then laid his head on Dick’s chest.

“Hey, baby bat,” Dick said softly as Damian sighed in contentment. “Good night?”

“Yes,” Damian whispered. “Father still suspects nothing. I’ll be sure to make up the couch before I leave in the morning.”

The knot of tension in Dick’s chest which had faded somewhat while he was on patrol hardened again. He swallowed and closed his eyes, trying to make himself forget. Forget that Damian was still only seventeen, that even if he wasn’t Bruce would still kill him if he found out.

He didn’t think that many things could make Bruce break his no-killing rule, but child rapists had always brought him close to that edge. And that was what Dick was, in this situation. That was all he was.

He was no better than the others.

*

It had started with a mistake. A lapse of judgment, a moment of stupidity, that had snapped Dick’s morality in half.

A kiss after a spar that had led to frantically clearing the security footage and praying to God that Bruce wouldn’t notice.

And then he’d fucked Damian in the Cave shower, and he didn’t think he’d ever forget the look of ecstasy on Damian’s face as the water ran down on them both, washing away their sins.

*

It had started out with that. It had continued when Damian began showing up at Dick’s apartment every hour of the night — first for talking, for comfort, and then for sex, and then to just be with him. That last part was more recent, in the last couple of months, where Damian would just show up and fall asleep. It left a funny feeling in Dick’s stomach.

Because if it wasn’t just physical, it was more than that. It was dangerously close to love, and that meant more danger.

If he were just sleeping with Damian, he wasn’t sure it would matter that much. When it inevitably fell apart, it would hurt, but he would get over it. But if they were torn apart while loving each other, it would destroy him. And it would destroy Damian even more.

That was the fear that kept him up at night.

*

They didn’t say the word _love_. It never crossed their lips in each other’s presence. But they said it in other ways. When they gasped each other’s names during sex, when they calmed each other down after nightmares, when Dick would hold Damian in bed and whisper stories of his childhood to chase away the darkness, when Damian would run his fingers down Dick’s chest and press small, barely-there kisses to his shoulder and collarbone.

All of it was a million ways of shouting their love to each other, and they both knew it. Dick did, at least, and he was sure Damian did as well. He couldn’t ask, so he held Damian closer, and hoped the strength in his body said the words for him.

*

All Dick wanted was to someday be able to be open about their relationship. To be able to hold Damian’s hand while walking down the street, or kiss him breathless in public, or go on fancy dates to one of Bruce’s parties. To be able to smile at Damian across the room and be sure that he wouldn’t be looking away, trying not to give away their feelings for each other.

It was such a small thing to ask for. It was an impossible thing to ask for. No matter what, that reality would never be theirs.

*

“Damian has been spending a lot of time at your apartment lately,” says Bruce. Dick glances over at him, hoping it wasn’t obvious that his heart rate had just skyrocketed. They were in the Cave, just the two of them, post-patrol and dressed for bed. Dick was planning to stay the night, since he’d ended up still studying relevant case files at 5am.

“Well, this place can be a little lonely. And he’s having his rebellion phase. A little late.”

“Is that what you think this is?”

“It’s what he’s told me. He wants to branch out. Like all teenagers. I did the same thing.”

“Right.” Bruce is silent for a long, tense moment, and for a moment of horror, Dick is certain that he’s been found out, that Bruce is going to beat him up and kick him out of the manor forever, but the silence continues, and finally Bruce says, “As long as he’s safe.”

Dick nods. “I think we both have that priority.”

*

He doesn’t slip into Damian’s room, like he planned. He goes to his own room, the one he’s slept in on and off since he moved out, and lies awake, trying to ignore the realization that he can’t fall asleep with ease without another body in the bed with him.

*

When he kisses Damian for the first time, it feels like coming home.

*

“We can never be public,” Damian whispers in the dark. His head is resting on Dick’s chest, and Dick can feel his heart stutter at the words.

He’s known since the beginning. It never stops hurting.

“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

“Tt. It’s not your fault, Grayson.”

“I’m still sorry.”

Damian closes his eyes tightly. If the light were even a little dimmer, Dick wouldn’t be able to see the tear that slips down his cheek. “Me too.”

*

On Damian’s eighteenth birthday, he gets a nice car and some art supplies from Bruce. Dick gifts him a book of vegetarian recipes, and cooks for him a few nights later. He can still taste the vegetarian stir-fry sauce on Damian’s lips when they kiss later that night.

“I want to tell Father,” Damian says, after Dick has given him his real birthday present. He closes his eyes.

“If you want to, I’ll support you. But if Bruce sends me away…”

“I will not let him. There is nothing illegal between us. There never has been. You know the law just as well as I do.”

Legality won’t stop Bruce, he wants to say. Bruce would do anything for you, and would see me hurting you as the ultimate betrayal. Bruce is blinded by his love for you.

Instead, he just kisses Damian’s forehead. “I love you.”

Damian doesn’t need to say it back, but he does, anyway, in a whisper so low that Dick barely hears him.

*

Bruce doesn’t let Dick and Damian see each other for a solid week. After that, he brings Dick into the Cave, where he spends a solid hour outlining every mistake he made by sleeping with Damian, and then another hour informing him of exactly what would happen if he ever did anything to Damian without his consent. Dick manages to stay silent, a skill he only possesses through many, many years of separation from his teenage years.

After, Damian comes down into the Cave, and Dick kisses him breathless as a greeting. He can hear Bruce’s teeth grinding from the other side of the Cave.

*

The other family members have reactions that vary from nonchalantness to outrage. Dick gets a particularly bad slap from Barbara that he can feel for a solid week after. But by the time Bruce has fully tortured Dick within the law, they pretty much accept it. Dick never expected that.

“Well,” Tim says, eyes still glued to his laptop screen, which is set to some security cameras, “no one’s really surprised. Well, maybe Bruce was. But I think most of us saw this coming. You two are sappy idiots, even before you were dating.”

Dick is sure that Damian would object to that description, but he’s not here, so Dick just grins.

*

They’ll never be able to hold hands in public, or get married, or tell the media. That’s okay.

Damian falls asleep on Dick’s shoulder in the Cave. Bruce grits his teeth but keeps walking.

High off the excitement of busting a particularly nasty drug ring, Dick lifts Damian in a princess twirl and then kisses him in front of a dozen tied up goons and a few members of the family. Jason wolf-whistles, and Barbara sighs over the comm line, but doesn’t say a word.

They hold hands one day in a briefing, and no one even comments.

Dick never expected this kind of freedom. It’s more than he ever expected. It’s more than enough.

And when Damian turns and kisses him and grabs his ass in front of everyone when the meeting ends, eliciting groans and sighs from almost everyone else in the room, well, that’s just a relationship perk.


End file.
